I DON’T WANT NO MORE OFFSEASON (or) The 2013-14 Clippers Season Preview with Clipper Ramone

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Here we are in early October, and the regular NBA season is just a few blocks down and around around the corner. There are a lot of new faces for the Clippers this year and some very welcomed returning ones. With that in mind, we here at ClipperBlog will be doing our darndest to get you all primed and prepped for one of the most highly anticipated seasons in Clipper history, and today it will be with a little assistance from a friend. Take it away, Mr. Ramone!

Hey Ladies and Germs- Clipper Ramone here. Now, a lot of you might be wondering what an NBA team season preview and New York’s most-bodacious & seminal punk rock outfit have to do with one another, but actually they go together like blue-jeans and leather-jackets! You see, few bands in history are as particular and clear about their preferences as The Ramones. Just check out this little list I put together:

The Ramones: A Partial Inventory of Things The Ramones Do-And-Do-Not-Want-To-Do As Evinced By Their Song Titles and Lyrics:

Some Things The Ramones Want:

To Have Some Kicks
To Get Some Chicks
To Be Sedated
To Be Well
To Be Your Boyfriend
To Have Something to Do
To Sniff Some Glue
You Around

Some Things The Ramones Do Not Want:

To Be Learned
To Be Tamed
To Go Down to the Basement
To Walk Around With You
To Grow Up
(To Be Buried in a) Pet Semetary
To Live (Their) Life Again
To Live This Life Anymore
You

See! I don’t know about the rest of the guys, but Joey, Johnny, and Dee Dee were frickin’ OPINIONATED, man! They knew what they liked. They knew what they didn’t. So in that vein (settle down, Dee Dee), I thought I would sniff a little of their Rock & Roll Hall of Fame moxie for some NBA preview action!

So here goes- 1,2,3,4!

MATT BARNES: BARNZY IS A PUNK ROCKER

Well the twins are all hopped up and ready to go
(They’re ready to go now)
Back in L.A. -they’ll be on TV (Oh-No Oh)
Daddy’s getting techs
He’s earning his paychecks

Barnzy is a punk rocker
Barnzy is a punk rocker
Barnzy is a punk rocker now

I WANNA:

I DON’T WANNA:

Even after his remarkably effective 2012-2013 season, it feels a little weird to say that Matt Barnes is a pivotal piece for the Clippers this year, but it’s the truth, kiddos. LA may have upgraded their shooting at near every position over the off-season, but the team is still light on quality perimeter defenders. That is where Matt Barnes comes in.

Tricksy 2s, Rangey 3s, and even a good deal of Finesse-y 4s in this league, Barnzy is a guy you can throw on offensive threats to slow‘em up, wear‘em down, and bum‘em out. Barnes isn’t a stopper, per se, but he will go to war for you every possession.

If Barnes is finishing games, it means his cuts have been sharp, his shots have been falling, or most likely because someone needs getting got. Barnes’ play for LA is a little reminiscent of James Posey’s role for Doc Rivers on the 2008 Celtics: all hustle-plays and peskiness. Energy and elbows.

For some players, there can be some concern about effort levels after receiving a new contract. That said, it would seem out of character for Barnes to take a step back intensity-wise this season. He has been a firebrand his entire career. Odds seem low for someone so rangey-and-feisty going for the fat-and-happy route.

One legit knock on M.B.’s game is that he has a shade of Sheed in him when it comes to the refs (but without Sheed’s techs equal power-up bonus). Barnes will be doing both his team and himself a favor if he lets Chris and Doc deal with the officials this year.

DARREN COLLISON: THE NBA TOOK MY BABY AWAY

He was traded and he had to go
I’m gonna miss him so-
Replaced by a Bruin
My fandom in ruin
I miss my Bledsoe

The NBA took my baby away
My baby away
My baby away
Away from me

I WANNA:

I DON’T WANNA:

Well-nigh everybody is going to be missing Eric Bledsoe. It really isn’t Lil’ Collision’s fault that he isn’t Bled. (Collision the Taller plays for OKC, as if ya didn’t know.) But this rocker has gotta wonder- with Collison playing behind C.P. at the point (who will already be playing more minutes this year than last), with Redick starting, and super-sub Crawford coming off the bench, just how many minutes will D.C. be getting this year?

On paper, he will be leading a bench unit of Crawford, Barnes, Typo Jamison, (Don’t Call Me B.J) Mullens, Hollins, and guest starring Green Willie, Bullock, and Amundson. But it is far too early to tell how exactly Doc plans to play him, and how he will handle managing the bench. All we do know for certain is that the bench has a heckuva lot of offensive firepower (well, at least a lot of dudes that like to shoot). One would hope that the back-up point guard playing with Jamal Crawford and stretch-bigs would have a flair for distributing the basketball instead of a rep for chucking-up/taking-up shots.

But in D.C.’s defense, he knew what the situation was when he signed with the team. Even though returning to LA is a homecoming for him, he is saying the right things so far. (It’s about sacrifice; he has a job to do; he knows what he’s here to do; etc.) He has played with/behind CP3 before. Doc Rivers is too good of a communicator to let Collision stew on the end of the bench. This rocker would like to think that even if D.C. isn’t playing “enough,” Doc will keep him locked in.

Still, it’s too friggin bad he ain’t Bledsoe.

JAMAL CRAWFORD: JAMAL CRAWFORD (I DON’T WANNA FIGHT THIS YEAR)

Jamal Crawford, I don’t want to fight this year
Jamal Crawford, I don’t want to fight this year
Jamal Crawford, I don’t wanna fight this year with you

Where does Jamal fit with the core?
I know he likes the ball on the floor
Where’s the fun? Where’s the creation, baby?
But please do some spot-up catch & shootin’ maybe

I WANNA:

I DON’T WANNA

I ain’t gonna beat around the brat – I am a little worried about Jamal Crawford this year. I’m not talking about his game. His game is well documented. Crawford is about as Instant-Offense-Off-The-Bench-While-Not-Being-An-All-Star as it gets. Sure, there are tweaks (I said, settle down Dee Dee!) to his game I look forward to seeing. But I am more concerned with the particulars of his head-space.

Maybe it has something to do with his being from Seattle, but Jamal is a little angsty sometimes. Dude’s got some free-floating ennui. Perhaps it isn’t happenstance that Crawford has played for seven teams in his thirteen year career. I don’t know, man. It isn’t anything specific, Jamal is far too savvy for that. Perhaps he envisioned a different role for himself. Perhaps he really liked Del Negro. Maybe the grass is just greener in the other boroughs, but something has seemed off. Maybe it’s just my meds.

In any case, the slightly modified role for Jamal this year is no secret. Doc has already gone on the record as to how he wants a little less dribbling, and a lot more catch-and-shoot coming off screens. Jamal is a defensive liability. No two ways about it. But a Thibodeausian defensive scheme is meant to be greater than the sum of its parts. He will never be a great defender, but Crawford’s commitment to the team’s defensive system this year will be telling. Hopefully, we see a whole lotta buy-in from him, and read a bit less “read-between-the-lines.”

I want to love you on this team, Jamal!

JARED DUDLEY: I WANT YOU AROUND

I want you around
I want you around

I want you around

I WANNA:

I DON’T WANNA:

Maybe I am speaking just for myself here, but of the two new acquisitions to this year’s starting lineup, other than his shooting, I am less sure of what to expect from Dudley. Word on the street is Dudley is a great glue guy, a decent team defender, a scrappy player, and in possession of a high basketball IQ. With all this in mind, I don’t expect to be blown away by Dudley right off the bat. But as the year progresses, team camaraderie establishes itself, and players adjust to the new schemes, I expect to see him as an assistant floor-general and a leader both in the time-out huddles and in the post-game locker room media mosh-pit.

He does, however, have a rather overlapping skill set to Matt Barnes, though, with a penchant for O instead of D. I really dig the idea of Barnes coming off the bench because he is such a high energy disruptive force. If Dudley isn’t finishing games, that will most likely be because Barnes is needed to stop someone.

WILLIE GREEN: I JUST WANNA HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

Hanging out and the end of the bench
Being ready in a pinch
I just want to play for you
I just wanna have something to do tonight

tonight, tonight, any night

I WANNA:

I DON’T WANNA:

Green is not a very Ramones-y color. Heck, green is not much of a Clippers-y color – it kinda clashes with all that blue and red, ya know? But this dude does anything but clash. I wanna say he is like a pair of blue jeans, but even that is too much of a statement for Green Willie. I like to think of him more like a 3-pack of white tube-socks. Does a modest job well. Works with damn near everything- and even when it doesn’t because ya gotta be getting all fancy- its good to have around just in case.

Green found a very unique role in the NBA last year as a substitute starter. This was one of the few VDN coaching trends last year that I found really friggin’ astute. With Chauncey down, which was, like, most of the season, a lot of coaches woulda understandably slotted one of the two next-best guards on the team (Bled and Jamal) into the starting line-up. But in order to maintain a rhythm for the bench players VDN usually rolled out Green Willie along with the first string dudes. He plays well off CP3, keeps his spacing, knows his role, and isn’t gonna rock the boat. When the Clips had their seventeen game winning streak, it’s not like he was a huge part of those wins, but he was in the starting line-up in all but three of those games. And Doc knows this.

So yeah, expect to see some Willie Green: DNPs this year, but also- don’t be surprised if Doc uses Willie in the exact same way VDN did if, say, Redick goes down for a spell. Doc knows what he has in this quiet, unassuming, but reliable dude. And Doc being the players-coach that he is, I expect him to reward Green for his professionalism with minutes here and there.

BLAKE GRIFFIN: BLAKESKRIEG BOP

Hey ho- let’s go
Hey ho- let’s go

Hey ho-let’s go
Wow them in the back row
What they want, I don’t know
You’re all revved up and ready to go

I WANNA:

I DON’T WANNA:

Ah, Blake. What the hell can be written about this guy that hasn’t already been writ? (You know, other than augmenting Ramones songs for him.) Griff is one of the biggest stars in the league, but he’s not even all that close to being the best player on his team. (Not like that is his fault. The Point God is just that go(o)d.) He went from being the face of the franchise to being cast as both a Heel and a Face simultaneously. (Again, not really his doing – fans and successful ad-campaigns are gonna do what fans and successful ad-campaigns are gonna do, ya know?) But what are we really gonna expect from The Beast entering his fourth year in the league?

The unfortunate answer is: everything.

But at least he now has a lot more help.

I don’t wanna speak too much on the Doc Rivers acquisition just yet. Doc’ll get his due in the second half of this season-preview, but the expectations for Griffin this year have a helluva lot to do with the new coach(es) and starters in town. The blogging’s been on the wall for a bit now, but the off-season moves made by LAC were, in many ways, masterful – and though they will help LAC across the board, one of the biggest individual beneficiaries will be Blake Griffin. The minute after people caught their collective breath from Griffin’s explosive entry into the league, the holes in his game were picked at, prodded, and well catalogued. But there is only so much any player can do on sheer athleticism and will. Smart systems help tremendously. He needs to score more easily? Try some Alvin Gentry scoring-mojo! He and DeAndre clog the post? Hey, these two new starters brought a bunch more room to work with! Blake should be a better defender? Here, Doc says have some Thibodeau-juice. Hesitating too much? Not sure where to be? Here is a championship winning system to rely on.

So yes, the dude needs to be more of a face-up scorer. He is going to be expected to evolve as a defender. As much as he is The Beast attacking the rim, he now needs to be a beast defending it. He needs to be as much of a weapon and force-of-nature in the 4th quarter as he is in quarters 1st through 3rd. In short, if the Clippers were going to ascend this year to the upper echelon of the NBA, if they were going to become a truly elite team, they needed to give their stars the tools to win. Now that they have? In a lot of ways, a good deal of that burden falls on Blake to make the leap.

The fortunate thing? Dude is really good at leaping.
***
Alrighty pinheads and pin-ups, I don’t wanna be late for band practice, so that will have do it for this installment of “I DON’T WANT NO MORE OFFSEASON with Clipper Ramone.” Come on back next week for the second half! Rock forth!